Gone Fishing
Guest Relations - VanessaPublished August 25, 2010 at 4:24 pm 12 Comments
As we all know, less than a month ago I ended things with “the Firefighter” because I needed to be more available for a relationship that was a little more serious. Since then, I have been focusing on bettering myself and just enjoying the ride that is my crazy life. To kick start my “search,” I renewed and updated my Match.com profile.
To be quite honest, I’ve always been a little on the fence about online dating. We are all grown up to think that you and your significant other will meet in a serendipitous situation that we often see in the movies. Realistically, we are all busy and those wonderful “meet cute” situations are little windows of opportunities that get smaller and smaller as we become more focused on our busy lives. I have one friend who actually had a sweet “meet cute” in the dairy section of a market and is currently dating the guy and things are going very well. I had always envisioned I’d meet a great guy as we are reaching for the exact same milk carton. Since I rarely drink milk, let alone have the time to hang out in the dairy aisle waiting for Mr. Right, online dating works for me.
As I see it, one of the perks of online dating is that you get to lay it all out there – kind of like a disclaimer, haha. You list who you are in a nutshell – your interests, your dreams, your likes and dislikes, and my personal favorite in the world of blind dates – a place to leave a good physical description along with a picture or two. Now I don’t know about you curvy ladies out there but one of my biggest fears when meeting a guy for the first time is that he does not realize just how “curvy” I really am. I will admit that I often change my body type on my profile as I feel that I fall across several categories.
Curvy. Full figured. Big and beautiful.
I love the word “curvy” though I realize that a Salma Hayek look alike may very well be pulled up in the same search. ”Full figured” sounds okay as there are definitely curves involved but it’s still a little vague. ”Big and beautiful” is nice because yes, I am big and beautiful. Body type aside, I also do my best to include several pictures with realistic angles and even a dreaded full body picture. With what I hope is a very transparent profile, the guy will know what he’s getting himself into and there will be no big surprises. No pun intended.
Another perk is that when it comes to your search, you can be as picky as you want. This leaves no room for “deal breakers” in my eyes. For example, if you know you want kids and the guy’s profile states that he does not, obviously tab over to the next guy, or if you just will not tolerate someone who smokes and drinks, you can eliminate that whole group of guys with a click of a button. Now, I know that love is blind and we may not really know what we want but we know what we think we want so shouldn’t that at least be a good start?
I’m having fun with my search and have already found a few “Wink Worthy” guys. Let me know what your take is on online dating and as always, your advice is so greatly appreciated.
Xoxo, V
I met my husband through a dating application on FB. I was living in Buenos Aires, Argentina and he was living in Scotland. He flew all the way to meet me, after about a month of chatting and getting to know each other. It was love at first click, but I was worried that he might not like me after I told him I was very curvy, but he said he loved me for who I was and that he loved my body because it was mine. We got married 1 year and 2 months after our first online meeting and we are now living in Scotland. It is a fairytale for the digital era
I’m all for online dating!
Have fun, you never know who you might meet
Hi Vanessa,
I’ve been writing about my experiences with online dating on my blog. It’s an interesting world. Good luck with your search!
~Kim
My husband and I met on Eharmony! We started emailing each other in October of 2008 and got married in October of 2009. He is the love of my life, and I only hope that everyone can find someone like that.
P.S. I am a curvy girl, and he is an athletic guy. Trust me when I say that there are guys out there who do not focus on body type. In fact, he prefers the curves. How lucky was I??
Good luck with the search!
-Katie
HI VANNESSA!I’M A BIG GIRL, SIMGLE MOM & 4 YEARS SEPARATE (NO BOYFRIENDS OR FRIENDS). IS VERY HARD TO FIND SOMEONE (GOD LOOKING, RESPECFULL, RESPONSABLES) GUYS! & ALWAYS THEY ARE LOOKING FOR GIRLS IN GOD SHAPE!!!
I’m a big girl and I have a lot of troble metting a boy
Hi Vanessa. I am 40 years old and a “big girl” too! I met a guy online January 2009. After a few less than successful “relationships” with other men I had met online, I finally met “the one” and we are getting married September 18, 2010. We are completely in love and looking forward to our life together. Just keep in mind that sometimes these guys aren’t always on these sites for the same reasons you are and yu need to know how to weed them out. Good luck in your search! All the best too you!!!
Hi Vanessa! Just like you, I’m a curvy girl. I think we’re the same size. Though I’m already married, I wish you the best as you jump into the dating pool again.=)
I met Dan on Match.com. He loves my curves and thickness and me. I had been doing the on-line thing off and on for about 2 years. I too struggled with the self description (curvy, full-figured, etc) What worked for me on these sites; was to be completely clear on who I was and what I wanted. There are some pretty amazing men out there looking for that special woman. You may have to ‘wink’ at some frogs before you find them. Best of luck to you!!
You girls (both Vanessa and the girls who left comments) are so inspiring! Thanks!
Good luck, Vanessa! Congratulations Franca on your engagement! I too, am 40 years old, have done the online thing and singles events off and on. I recently got a dating coach, did his workshop and he’s helping me rewrite my online profile. It will help a lot, I know, to be clear about what I’m about and who I’m looking for. The best advice I got was not to let the physical chemistry fool you into thinking that’s a relationship and keep dating until you waste 1 month-2 years of your life. If he doesn’t have the 5-7 main things that are essential to you in a relationship, KEEP LOOKING!
collectively, i’ve been rejected by over 900 men on eharmony. These days it seems that you aren’t really rejected because they don’t have that “close this match” option anymore. I stopped paying for it in may with an email to them telling them I can get rejected this much for free. I don’t need to pay for this.
I’m so glad your search is going well. Maybe someday I’ll scrape my pennies together and give match.com another try.
I have tried the dating sites, but the few men I have met are disappointed when they see how curvy I am. Its been awhile now and I have given up. I am so glad to hear that it has been working well for some of you!